30 Before 30

From The Happiness Project I came across this list of 40 things a woman wanted to do before she turned 40. I was inspired to do my own list: “30 Before 30.” My 27^th birthday is in about two weeks so that gives me three years to tackle my list:

1) Finish my PhD.

2) Climb Longs Peak.

3) Finish knitting the red and orange scarf that is now in its fourth year of knitting.

4) Do a yoga teacher training course.

5) Travel to Brazil to see friends there.

6) Travel to any of the following with SV: Paris, Seattle or Iceland.

7) Go on a trip with my parents – maybe Alaska?

8) Paint a picture a year (at least).

9) Stay out of debt.

10) Start a retirement fund.

11) Publish 3 first-authored papers.

12) Take ballet.

13) Go to a slow food event in Edmonton with DM.

14) Sea kayaking around Vancouver Island and seeing RY.

15) Scrapbook more.

16) Visit Aunt L. a few times.

17) Have a dedicated yoga practice for one year. (hopefully, more!)

18) Have a dedicated meditation practice for 6 months.

19) Run the Bolder Boulder one time

20) Go to Ojo Caliente with friends. Yay!

21) Finish baby blanket for KVL.

22) Knit something for RY.

23) Knit hat and cowl for myself.

24) Have love endeavor(s)!

25) Paint and organize a space in the lab for my office. Something very cool. Very chic. Very organized; very me.

26) Get to know my parents more.

27) Play my violin more. Or at all. Have AM tune it first…

28) Find the 10 best breakfast places in Edmonton.

29) Write an article for the NYTimes.

30) Learn to make excellent chicken enchiladas – locate that recipe I used in New Haven…

I realize some of these are pretty ambitious (mainly #29 and #3). The rest however, are realistic. Additionally, each of these touch on themes, people and the minutiae of my life that make me happy!

Joyful Challenges

Today there is a joyful challenge facing me in the form of a final exam. But let’s not dwell on that. It is snowing here in fair Edmonton. Again. At least the temperature is tolerable - there is something to be said for April! Let’s not dwell on that either.

At meditation last night the person speaking on the topic of meditation at one point said something to effect of: “wordswordswords…and that is happiness,” at which point I tuned back in. “Damn,” I thought, “there was the answer to what happiness is and I missed it because I zoned out!” The same thing happens in course lectures too, when the professor indicates that he or she has just summarized the entire essence of a concept. At which point I always wish they would reiterate what they have just said because those sign posts of “this is important and I have just distilled a concept with great clarity” really help anchor me. While I agree that all of a lecture is important, there is no way to process the entire stream of input so I do well with verbal signposts. I find this same phenomenon in life. As in, something happens, and clearly after it occurs, some realization or clarity happens although it isn’t always clear what the referent is because I have not been paying attention to everything preceding the onset of clarity. They say meditating is useful for increasing this awareness and focus. I hope so. Then, when I have a flash of “this is happiness” it will be possible to know what the “this” refers to and I won’t feel bummed when I miss the “answer” at meditation.

I just spent a fantastic weekend in Victoria with friends and wanted to write on the happiness of friendship but will need more time to do so….now however, I need to turn my attention to my most immediate joyful challenge…

Pure Part of the Abyss

I’m back. I was in transition. (But when am I not?)

I may take time to reflect on the last year (it’s been almost that long since I blogged on happiness!) but today I simply want to share some happy things. My aim is to commit to blogging about happiness on Thursdays. And it is Thursday!

Happy Things
• Spring! It’s here! I can tell because the grass is variegated with new growth and the air smells alive.

• Feist. My roommate just lent me her new CD. So good. Feist is Canadian.

• People murmuring during meditation. I went to a meditation session last night. I didn’t understand all of it but at one point after visualizing rays of white, red and blue light and some chanting people started murmuring, with beads, and sounds of OM and AH and another sound…it evoked in me a mixture of awe and surprise. Like the first time I heard the trees creaking against each other on Vancouver Island.

• New ideas. There is the danger of becoming too narrow and developing tunnel vision in graduate school (or in life, I suppose). I am making a conscious effort to stretch myself and develop breadth in my thinking. Broad thinking makes me happy even if, at times, I find it intimidating and overwhelming.

• Laughter. The sound of it – especially from people I love. The feel of it – especially at the corners of my eyes.

• The sunset over the Saskatchewan River. To me this captures the infinite possibilities of my life. Five years ago, a year ago, six months ago, even, I never imagined I would watch ice flow down a river while the sun sank low in the sky over the first city I ever visited (who knew that at 6 weeks old I would be on the same campus where I would later pursue a PhD? Thousands of miles from where I was born and reared!).

• Il Postino and Pablo Neruda. Here is an excerpt from Neruda’s Poetry that makes me happy:

I did not know what to say, my mouth
had no way
with names,
my eyes were blind,
and something started in my soul,
fever or forgotten wings,
and I made my own way,
deciphering
that fire,
and I wrote the first faint line,
faint, without substance, pure
nonsense,
pure wisdom
of someone who knows nothing,
and suddenly I saw
the heavens
unfastened
and open,
planets,
palpitating plantations,
shadow perforated,
riddled
with arrows, fire and flowers,
the winding night, the universe.

And I, infinitesimal being,
drunk with the great starry
void,
likeness, image of
mystery,
felt myself a pure part
of the abyss,
I wheeled with the stars,
my heart broke loose on the wind.

So, there are some happy things for this Thursday - may it be sweet!

Bearing Happiness

My Dad always says, upon encountering a lost or misplaced thing in life: "Opps! If it had been a bear it would have bit me!" Such is the case with happiness, I think. It is so easy to lose it or misplace it and go about our lives not noticing that it has been there all along waiting patiently to be found if only we look for it. Like keys under a coat on the sofa or the remote control sitting on the coffee table or the missing BBQ sauce behind the ketchup, happiness is never far away -sometimes it just requires a bit of quiet sitting or a fresh perspective to notice what has been there all along or find what has been missing. So the idea of this blog is to "bear happiness" by meditating on happiness, cultivating happiness, noticing happiness and rethinking happiness.